Please welcome, Michelle Discavage, our latest guest blogger to share her thoughts on what it means to be brave. Michelle is another wonderful For the Love sister-friend and another Texan. Y’all, I think I attract Texan friends 🙂 Her story below is one that really resonated with me; the wildly beating heart, lump in my throat, one last gulp and the leap of faith. AND the exhilaration that follows a brave choice. After all, as she says, being brave is being scared and doing it anyway! After you read this great post, go check out her blog Chasing the Divine for even more wonderfulness.
Brave. I find it easy to be brave when discussing a situation, when discussing dreams and goals. But when I am face to face with them, when the dreaming becomes a reality? Bravery is never readily found.
I have had this dream strolling through my mind for a while. Some may call it crazy, others may support it. But this dream? It has been stirring within me for longer than I care to admit. In two months, the dream I have pictured in my mind a dozen times, the dream I have discussed with only a select few, is going to become a reality.
Yes, I am scared. But I am going to do it anyway.
Why would I willingly choose such a frightening circumstance? It is what I do, it is what I am called to do.
Years ago I stood on a stage staring out at 600 plus faces. The stage seemed so large, and the lights were sure to magnify my thumping pulse. Just share your testimony they said. Sure I had shared it a multitude of times, in small groups, in face to face conversations. But that day I was asked to share with the entire camp, and I wanted to do well.
I had an outline, I knew what I would say. Throughout the day, I rehearsed it all in my head. Every time, it was effortless. Yet when I walked up to the microphone, the fear of fainting, of not being able to speak became a real issue. One deep breath, a quick prayer, and I began.
While I cannot recall everything I said that day, I do remember feeling like I was outside of myself. I remember feeling as if I were watching everything take place, like I was merely a spectator in the large crowd. Exiting the stage I was relieved, happy to have made it through, to have not passed out.
A few weeks later, at the third and final camp I would be serving at, I was asked to speak again. We want you to speak on Wednesday night, when many of our donors and board members will be here. We know you will do well. I smiled, encouraged by the honor they were giving me, and terrified of letting everyone down. Had I not known who would be in the audience that night, the burden would not have felt so heavy. I knew, I knew what was being entrusted to me, and I wanted to serve them well.
Much like the first time, I do not remember much of what was said. I remember feeling like I had rambled, and I questioned how coherent I sounded. On the verge of tears and wanting to run from the room, the president of the organization approached me. I feared hearing his disappointment, being told I let him down. Glancing uneasily at him, he began to speak. Thank you. I knew you were the right one to speak tonight. He smiled, shook my hand, and walked away.
No matter how many times I have looked out into crowds of people, the same nerves course through my body as they did twenty years ago. I doubt my ability, question what I have prepared to say, and wonder what I am doing there. But I am there, and I do speak. I love every nerve filled moment.
I will choose bravery over fear. I want my daughter to do the same. I remind myself it is not for the pats on the back or for the accolades I may receive. I will be brave to honor the One who has brought me here.
But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.” (Isaiah 43:1)
Brave was originally posted at http://chasingthedivine.com/brave/
Michelle believes in living passionately, loving deeply and laughing often. She draws encouragement from Psalm 46:10 which says, “Be still and know that I am God.” Michelle lives in Texas with her husband and their daughter, where she is a certified life coach, writer, and speaker. With a wide smile, and a gift of mercy, Michelle looks for the hand of God in every moment. Her site, “Chasing the Divine,” can be found at www.chasingthedivine.com