Look! It’s my blog! Yes, I’m still here. I can’t believe that I haven’t written once in the month of November. Life is busy….good, but busy. For some reason, I am not making the time to blog lately and I miss it. I was just spending some time reading some of the blogs that I most frequently visit and found a line that I loved over at don’t eat alone. His blog is one of my very favorites. When I grow up, I want to be able to write like Milton. Anyway, he is in the middle of a move and yesterday’s post had this line in it:
The longer I live, the more I trust that grace means I’m not required to prove myself before God, or anyone else, in order to be loved.
For some reason, that thought really blessed me. And, I believe it to be true. Part of the work that Katie and I have done in our online retreat in recent weeks is to look at the patterns in our life that keep us from true freedom…the kind of freedom that Christ promises us. One of the paths to freedom for me is to really grasp the fact that I don’t have to prove myself. I know that in Christ I am completely loved…thoroughly and totally loved…yet sometimes I still act as if I need to prove myself in order to win the love and approval of others and, in all honesty, of God. The energy expended in trying to prove ourselves smart, capable, worthy and good is exhausting. And we don’t have to do it. I don’t have to do it.
The longer I live, the more I trust that grace means I am free to just be me. No more, no less. The person that I am right now, the person that God is still working on transforming, the person that God loves madly, deeply, truly right now. I don’t have to prove anything to you. But, perhaps with that same grace that has been extended to me, you can feel safe knowing that you don’t have anything to prove to me either.
I, too, have had so much going on that I haven’t had the opportunity to blog as much as I would like (although things like Desmond Tutu’s recent visit to National Cathedral have given me cause to jot a few things down). I love your comments here, and it’s something that people really tend to forget — you don’t have to try and prove yourself to everyone or to God. Just sit back and trust that He will make the changes He thinks need to be made in your life, and in the meantime enjoy the ride!!