One of the first questions I ask new coaching clients to dance with is this: “what do I want?”
I remember one client in particular who, after a lengthy discussion in our first session about the reasons she had decided to pursue coaching, was stopped cold when I asked her that question:
“What do you want? What do you really want?”
Her eyes welled up with tears and she said “I have no idea.”
For many of us in certain seasons of our life, we become so consumed with the needs of others that we temporarily lose track of what we need or want out of our own life. While not exclusively, women in particular often find it difficult to find a balance between taking care of the people in our life while still listening to the desires deep in our heart, the story we long to tell, the picture we want to paint.
Sometimes we treat wanting like the ugly stepchild of need (Not entirely sure ugly stepchild is politically correct anymore. Please note that I have been a stepchild for 35 years and I am a big fan of stepchildren.) We put need high up on a holy pedestal and kick want to the curb, as if want is too frivolous to consider by a person of sober judgment. I remember making that distinction between need and want with my kids when they were little and insisted they “needed” ice cream, a new toy or the more expensive jeans.
In reality, thinking about what we want is indeed a luxury of the privileged. For those of us who wake up every morning with our physical needs largely met- a roof over our head, food in the pantry and enough money to keep the heater running- we are blessed to have the bandwidth to consider desires outside of what we need to survive. Much of the world is not that lucky.
Yet, figuring out what we want, long for or desire is still a worthy goal when we are connected to Spirit. My values, hopes, dreams and calling bloom from the seeds of my desires and passions, planted deep within me by the God who created me. In the Kingdom, the longing of my heart is often connected intimately to what the world needs. Click To Tweet The times I feel most alive, the connections that feel most authentic, and the experiences that touch my heart most deeply all hold clues to the place to which God is calling me: the best, bravest, most creative version of me.
And it is that person God will put to work to help heal the world and make sure more people can dream big dreams and ask themselves “What do I really want?”
How about you? What do you really want? What story do you want to tell?
Connecting today with my friends over at Five Minute Friday. We are writing our thoughts today on the word NEED. Because all our words matter, I invite you to check out more of my brilliant writer friends to see what they have to say about today’s prompt NEED.